Problematic Perfection.

You ever have those days when everything is going as planned and then something happens to throw a wrench in it, yeah thats kind of the definition of my demise at this moment...ha..well anywho not putting too much emphasis on that emergency because it is actually not an emergency and not a true problem at all, you have to take what life serves you as it is dispatched and never jump offsides, so i will not worry myself with thoughts that do not need to be "thunk"...

On another note my road to my camera purchase is coming closer and closer by the weeks..i need 600.00 and as of now i have about 400.00 put aside for it so hopefully ill have it soon, and worst comes to worst i will get it by my birthday in feb. so we shalll seeeeee, then its onto some learnin sesshhhh's with the oompa.

GO CHARGERS!, Ill be there next week for the playoff game...so see yall peeps there.

Oh yeah. random. how is she soooooo puuurty. damn you lil wayne. mizz london is my dream not yourrrz.

What Am I Doing?

Ok yet another day I think about shit like a fly..Well i went to work today and half the time was sitting there in boredom...and while engaged in this brainless activity of text messaging homies i started to ponder...what the fuck am i going to do when i graduate? i mean i KNOW what I'm going to do, which is "live" life and get a real job, but really what am i going to do? Am i going to stay here? Or am i going to move like i always said i would? Don't get it twisted like the board game but i am super down to move away, but its going to be crazy, like, i got to look for a job in a different state, it is definitely going to be a change. But if i stay here where do i get a job at? My brother did say he could possibly get me a job at his work making good money, which would be more lovely than a coke bottle frame in a black dress but who knows if that will work out..So i started to calculate it out, like if i did decide to reside in San Diego how much is the bare minimum i have to make to do what I'm trying to do, apartment wise..i came up with a figure of around 16 bucks an hour, which is about 30k a year..and to be honest i would be barely getting by like my name was talib kweli (lol)...so this is going to take some serious thought..but luckily i do have a little time, one more semester, i graduate in may, so 5 months to really figure this predicament out..On another note I'm going to be on some new shit, i really figured out that being negative can be subconscious and mos def it can be contagious, so if your hating on somebody, most likely it is because someone close to you was hating on another..i realized how much time is wasted in our life through people worrying about somebody Else's life and what they are doing, so i got to worry about my damn self and stay focused like a canon...on a music note, i am listening to that new bishop lamont mixtape "pope mobile", wow. That is all i can say this dood is the truth if you have not heard him yet, the west will be brought back by this man right here and his boss, the man, the mythe the legend, the doc...and on another note, i do hope every ones Christmas was good, mine was definitely good, i got serius satellite radio for the whip, this lil gizmo is a definite buy if you don't got one yet, worth every penny..so after Christmas was done and the family went home and the ham was all in our tummy's, me and the homie los decided to hit the movies and check out "the great debaters", this movie is a true story and a definite hit, movie is crazy. so check it out if you have not done so yet. well all i can say is if you notice your being negative, switch it up like ya undies people..and lets get on some positiveness and real life with real importance.

To All A Good Night.

So its christmas eve and I lay in bed watching yet another overly seen yet classic christmas movie. It's actually National Lampoons Christmas Vacation..Chevy Chase is a genious in this movie, but the guy who plays his cousin is einstien...anywho I love christmas and the whole month and season that surrounds, leads up to, and exits it..I do not believe there is another time during the year when i am as estatic and fufilled as the holiday season..so through all the christmas cartoons, old movies, and packed malls, i don't really find myself stressed, when in actuallity i am in the complete opposite state of mind, and absolutely nothing can really interfear with that feeling. So just like anything of course there has to be a thought about that special someone during the holidays..and it is kind of a weird emotion for me this year, being single and all, which i've had christmas' where i have been single, but last year was probably the best christmas i got to experience because at the time i was emotionally involved with my ex and things couldn't have been better, and for that brief few days I felt like i had that complete christmas that i always wanted, and this year i fell a few dominoes short..anyway go chargers since they won today and i was at the game, and to all those who i love, i love you, and merry christmas to all.

Share the Remote Control.

Sitting in front of my computer screen trying to fake myself into thinking I'm not dwelling on a similar thought I'm oh so familiar with seems to be an ordinary routine of mine. So i just got back from watching the movie "Juno" and i cant help but think if this fictional story could be real? Could there actually be love like this in the present day? It always seemed that our parents generation was filled with people who were morally sane and were birthed to love and procreate. I don't know if i can say the same about the el cajon blvd hotel we call a society these days. Id like to believe it, but i guess its just another gorgeous miracle that you have to keep faith in without seeing until the day actually arrives. Call me a sap or emo whatever it may be, i just feel that this subject is not really touched how it should be..Me and a friend of mine see these films or read about a person etc. and wonder about it ourselves...where are these girls that have the same mentality about life and love that we do? The typical phrase of course is.."you cant look for it", i even utter the same gutless sentence to my ex all the time when she speaks of this same poisonous feeling of love absence...so as it may be I'm pretty much a fucking hypocrite (lol)..I just do not understand on how this thing called love can be like rocket science to a dunce..i don't ask for much no matter how hard that seems to grasp..Someone that will love someone for the simple fact its them, nothing else, i don't want the glamor i don't want the gliss, i just want the purity..where did we go wrong in this life to believe love is so much other false assumptions than what it really consists of? That "feeling"..that feeling of being complete..and no not just the lack of loneliness but the exact opposite, the absence of ever having to think in that false form of thought, actually having a definite knowledge of happiness. This other half does not have to be perfect by all means, because what is perfection anyway? 9 out of 10 humans don't even know how to achieve happiness and what brings it, so how would they decipher what true perfection is? Someone that can accept you for who you are, and get stupidly dumbfounded in a state of euphoria at the fact that they are privileged enough to spend their life with you, that's it. Read a book next to me, go to Disneyland when we are 60, never doubt the fact of how crazy I am about you, and put no one above you, but give me a hand climbing up to the same pedestal that i once placed you on..and your perfect.